What Time is Noon by Chip Leighton
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What Time is Noon?
Hilarious Texts, Ridiculous Feedback, and Not-So-Subtle Advice from Teenagers
by Chip Leighton
Countryman Press 2024
Parents have waited ages for a book that allows them to commiserate about raising teenagers. Alas, the book has finally arrived, and unlike the full sink and empty dishwasher your chore-adverse teen blessed you with before sneaking off to their bedroom, Chip Leighton’s “What Time is Noon?” doesn’t disappoint.
Leighton’s book is a multi-purpose tool that is part humor, part mood lifter and part nostalgia generator. I picked up this compilation of conversations between parents and their teenagers for some light reading and spent the next few days binge-reading and laughing so hard I cried. This is unequivocally the funniest book I’ve read in years. That may be high-praise, but it’s duly earned with laugh-inducing content like this text from the first chapter aptly titled “Communicating”: “You might get a letter from Caesars Palace banning me from entering until I’m 21.”
Familiarity with Leighton’s social media channel isn’t necessary. Readers will quickly recognize the book’s format, which is often used by bloggers, columnists and comedians to compile their best hits in book form. It’s a welcoming and unpretentious reading experience that allows one to set the book down for long periods, but lose no momentum upon return.
The premise and construct are simple, but the book isn’t sparse or unenlightened. It may be short, but it has substance. Leighton’s work is styled in a way that readers of “The Field Guide to Dumb Birds” series by Matt Kracht will recognize, minus the coarse language. It’s sprinkled with an appropriate amount of lightheartedness for the subject matter and just the right level of self-deprecating humor.
Leighton somehow manages to pack in all the trials and tribulations of parenting during the teenage years while never infusing his work with preachiness. He doesn’t belabor child rearing pointers from the free-range or gentle-parenting movements. He doesn’t encourage you to savor every moment. Instead, he shares ridiculous text message chains that will make you belly laugh.
If you’re currently raising one or more teens, I’m so sorry. This book might help you escape your current reality for a spell and experience enough joy that you can go on to survive the week.
If you already survived this harried season of child rearing, Leighton’s book will make you nostalgic. You’ll smile recalling the time your teen said something similar. However, some of the comments in this work may make you worry about handing the world over to this generation. Take for instance, this gem from the “In the Car” chapter: “I could drive fine if the instructor would stop grabbing the wheel.”
If you’re worried, I see your point. However, this over 40 Millennial thinks teens should get a pass. Every generation this side of the Great Flood has stood accused of not having it together, and then readily proved that they didn’t have it together. That said, not one generation has accidentally triggered the Apocalypse before passing the torch to the generation that caused them concern (i.e., their own kids).
Speaking of graduating, this time of year Oh, the Places You Will Go by Dr. Seuss. claims its obligatory spot at the top of the bestseller list. It’s a nonnegotiable, just like Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is You” starting the season of giving by giving every other song on the Billboard Top 100 a temporary demotion.
Seuss’ book lands there by way of proud family members presenting it to high school grads alongside checks or cash. Actually, it has been years since I fought my way out of a packed performing arts center parking lot after listening to one too many critiques of the commencement speech and far too few about the lack of parking at a school that can afford to invest in more parking. I assume everyone is still handing out cash and checks at graduations, but Grandpa could very well be providing Junior’s fall semester beer money — I mean, meal card fund — care of Venmo for all I know.
Regardless, the book gifts always land in the graduate’s lap. You know, the person who could use a break from required reading. The people who just became empty nesters have leisure reading time on their hands and could use a happy cry to offset the sobbing autumn’s tuition bill will surely bring. If you’re looking for a book that will send them down Memory Lane and help them remember that it wasn’t easy, but it was always worth it — hand them this one.
Christine Colaninno is an avid nonfiction reader from Northern Virginia.